Reunited and It Appeals So Good
Fifteen years ago, siblings BeBe & CeCe Winans made up one of Christian music’s favorite groups. But after scoring numerous number ones in both the Christian and mainstream markets with R&B hits like “Addictive Love” and “I’ll Take You There” and winning every award imaginable, they decided to split up and fulfill contractual obligations to record solo albums. But this fall, after tremendous success apart, the multi-platinum gospel stars pair up once again for an all-new recording, Still (B&C). Taking a break from a recent radio tour, the reunited siblings explain why BeBe & CeCe will always sing gospel music—and what they’ve learned about grace.

AG: When you both went solo fifteen years ago, did you have any idea your individual careers would take you away from BeBe & CeCe for so long?

CeCe: No, no, no. It wasn’t until I was in the studio doing my first solo project that I realized, Oh my gosh, BeBe’s not coming in on any of the parts. People might not like this at all. Coming out with a CD by myself, that was scary. Up until that point, people had only heard me with BeBe, and BeBe with myself. So it was definitely a pleasant surprise that they welcomed us both as individuals as well as a duet.

AG: BeBe, did you have a similar experience?

CeCe: No.

BeBe: [Laughs]

CeCe: He wasn’t scared without me. I’m the scaredy cat. [Laughs]

BeBe: I was just surprised as CeCe with the acceptance. But you set out to do your best, whether as a duo or solo, hoping to put the right songs forward, production and everything else. You really place it in God’s hands and just go for the ride.

AG: After experiencing such success as solo artists, what inspired the reunion?
BeBe: We’ve been working on it for awhile. With solo careers and families and everything, you live separate lives.

CeCe: And you blink and fifteen years go by. It’s not like we planned to say, “We’re coming back in fifteen years,” or “Let’s do this for the fifteenth year reunion.” By the time we finished getting the schedules, the different producers, zeroing in all the songs, it had been fifteen years. Wow!

AG: Was it hard to get back in the groove after being apart for so long?

CeCe: That’s like we never stopped.

BeBe: Because you never stop being brother and sister. The foundation of our relationship has to do with family. Family never stops. So that’s the easy part.

AG: How does BeBe & CeCe look different today from fifteen years ago?

CeCe: I hope it’s looking better. With time, you become wiser. When you go through things and you’re still standing, you’re better off than you were before.

In [the last fifteen years], we’ve lost one of my brothers as well as my father. God has proven to be faithful, to carry us through the rough times. Knowing that they’re both smiling down on us, they’re both in a much better place and we’ll see them both again, we bring that to the table. We bring more wisdom to the table than ever before—all of our triumphs, all of our failures.

BeBe: Fifteen years ago I was thinking differently. I wasn’t a father. Life has changed. The world has changed. We have an African-American president. With all those experiences, you put it into song and you sing from a different place of maturity.

CeCe: We know who we are a little better now. And definitely know Whose we are.

AG: CeCe, you mentioned your father, Pop Winans, died this year. How has his death and legacy affected the recording of Still?

CeCe: First of all, he got a chance to hear some of our stuff before he passed, and that brought a big smile to his face. When he heard one of the songs in the hospital, he sat up and his eyes became energized because he loved all of his children. Nothing makes him happier than us singing together.

In one of the songs we repeat, “He’s a wonder,” one of the sayings my father was faithful for saying. Because of the way he trained us, what he put in us, [Pop's spirit] can’t help but come out. I feel like the whole CD will have some of him in it. We are his legacy.

BeBe: When we talk about BeBe & CeCe Winans songs, love is all up in there, because my father taught us the definition of love. He was our biggest fan and our biggest critic. He taught us to be excellent, to do our best. In doing that, we honor him.

AG: BeBe & CeCe was one of the first Christian music groups to cross over into the mainstream. Do you have similar hopes for the music on this record?

BeBe: The first single (“Close to You”) has done that already. The more it crosses, the more we give honor to God, because there are people everywhere who need to be uplifted, especially people that are hurting. We want our music to bring healing, to bring an answer to their questions. Wherever people are, ministry is needed.

When you read and watch the news, it’s a sad situation. I’m reminded the necessity for what we do, and what others do, and that is to bring the good news of Jesus. People need to hear there’s an answer and there is hope in hopeless situations. [Crossing over] isn’t something we planned, but it’s where God took us.

AG: You were one of the first groups to bridge black and white audiences. Was racial unity an intentional part of your platform?

CeCe: We just went in doing what we do. The message is the message and it shouldn’t matter what color you are. You have different variety and styles of music. If that’s the style you like, you embrace it, not caring what color or if it’s labeled “gospel” or “Christian.” We’re happy that our music did tear down some barriers and hopefully it will continue to do the same thing.

AG: You’ve both developed high profile relationships with celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Whitney Houston. Do these friendships offer you unique opportunities to exercise your faith in the spotlight?

CeCe: Our music has allowed us to meet people we probably never would have met before. But then you find out people are just people, no matter how famous they are or how much money they have. [And] we’ve fallen in love with wonderful people over the years. But wherever we are, we are who we are. It doesn’t matter whether I’m with somebody famous or somebody not famous, I’m gonna’ always be a believer.

AG: Do you feel like culture puts unrealistic expectations on artists’ personal lives simply because “gospel” or “Christian” is part of their professional titles?

BeBe: You don’t allow pressures from people to be placed on you. We are human. We make mistakes. One of the things that surprises me the most is what people forget, and that is, “While we’re yet in sin, God died for us” [Rom. 5:8]. Grace is not a gift you can earn, but a wonderful gift he gave to us all.

CeCe: You’re always going to have people who are critical. That’s their problem. As believers we have a responsibility to be pleasing unto the Father. So I’m never pressured by what people expect from me. God sees me in the dark, wherever I am, so I try to live a life that is pleasing to him. As the Bible says, “Let your light so shine so that men will see it and glorify God in heaven” [Matt. 5:16]. If I’m pleasing him and blessing him, I’ll be a blessing to others.

And when you’re forgiven much, you are willing to forgive much. There have been numerous times that we disappointed the Father, and yet he’s been there to love us and forgive us. It’s a joy to love other people right where they are.

AG: After all the fame and all the popularity, you have always stayed connected to gospel music. Why?

BeBe: It’s who we are. It’s what we know. But it’s also what we love. When you’re doing what you love, why stop doing it?

CeCe: This is what we’re created to do. We’ve been blessed to do other things outside of gospel music, but we are gospel artists. That’s where our heart is, that’s where our calling is, and that’s our foundation.

Christianity Today, October 2009
Myspace.com/BeBeandCeCeWinans

Catching Up With . . . David Crowder
The musical theologian/thinker/experimenter explains why Church Music is the perfect moniker for his band’s latest creative output.

AG: Church Music is full of contemporary expressions. Is the title a tongue-in-cheek remark on the old-school organ hymn renditions many of us grew up hearing?

David Crowder: The music of the church is broad and diverse. All we’re doing is stating the obvious—we make church music. It is not a critique of more traditional expressions of music in the church, but rather how the creation of expectation by language can be limiting in ways that divide and confuse, rather than unite and clarify. The fact that those who come from a traditional setting hear this music and think, “this is not church music,” and others coming from more progressive settings think, “this is not church music,” causes me to think that both expectations should be reevaluated.

AG: How would you define “church music?”

Crowder: Church music is music of the Christian church used for congregational singing. Pliny the Younger, a Roman statesman in the first and second centuries, wrote emperor Trajan asking for advice in how to deal with Christians, of which he’d had little experience with. One thing he uses to define them is, “They sing songs as if to a God.” To me, that defines the purpose of Church music.

AG: Church Music encompasses rock, pop, electronic, dance music—a melting pot of genres. What did you grow up listening to?

Crowder: My formative years were spent in the backseat of my dad’s Ford Thunderbird playing five tapes in an endless cycle: two Elvis tapes, a Willie Nelson tape, an Olivia Newton John tape, and thankfully, a Bill Gaither tape. When secular music was banned from the house, I circumvented this by listening to Kiss really, really loud at my friend’s house, and by explaining to my parents that Queen was in fact a Christian band.

AG: Are you the epicenter of the band’s creative process, or is it a collective effort?

Crowder: I make up rules for a particular project and then give assignments based on these rules. The music of the church has been most effective at articulating faith for groups of people when it has embraced the language and art of that particular group of people. So we had to embrace what is going on within pop music. Pop music has moved more urban in the last decade and yet most progressive church settings are still trying to capture U2 and Coldplay. Not that they aren’t relevant, but when you have hip-hop producers like Timbaland producing rock bands, the trend should be considered.

One of the rules this time was that all of the music must first be composed in a computer. Then the rules stated that we must destroy what we made and recreate it with organic instrumentation. I felt like this would keep us from straying too far from where we’ve been and also allow for some of our rock and indie rock influences to be audible.

A couple of other rules were that songs had to lead into each other. Also, each must contain a nod to a formative moment within the history of music in the church, and these moments must appear on the album in historical order. It’s a musical puzzle.

AG: Do you have an intended audience for your music?

Crowder: This question causes me to think of what we are doing in consumptive terms. God is our intended audience, and those who find their sensibilities similar to ours will be able to use what we’re doing to express themselves to God in a meaningful way. Music is a powerful thing that allows us to dig out places inside of ourselves that are uniquely human and offer them to God. For those who do not share our sensibilities, our music will be of little help in doing this.

Christianity Today, September 2009
DavidCrowderBand.com

The Singing Bengal
High-profile performance is nothing new for Ben Utecht. As a five-season NFL veteran and Cincinnati Bengals starting tight end, Utecht entertains hundreds of thousands of fans each fall with his skillful offensive field techniques. But the 28-year-old—who won a Super Bowl with the Indianapolis Colts—has more than pigskin on the brain. He’s also a gifted singer/songwriter—his debut album earned four stars from us—who’s proving his off-season aptitude to the masses. Utecht spoke with us about his music, the relationships that brought him from the gridiron to the stage, and why, for now, football comes first.

AG: Will there be a place for music during the fall NFL schedule?

Ben Utecht: Once the season starts it’s pretty much just football and ministering through football. I really feel like God wants to keep music for the off-season. He’s blessed me with the opportunity to play in the NFL, and that has to be my primary focus. But you can count on me getting into music once the season is done.

AG: So would you define yourself as a football player first, then as a musician?

Utecht: They are both part of my identity. But being a football player would probably come before being a musician right now.

AG: Most people spend a lifetime of resources investing in a single career. Is it overkill to divide your energy between two demanding professions?

Utecht: I don’t think so. Music has always been a relief for me, an opportunity to get away from stresses and anxieties that come along with [football]. It gives me an avenue to create and express myself. I think that has improved my capabilities as an athlete.

AG: So it’s therapeutic.

Utecht: Yeah. When you get into the football season it’s seven days a week. It’s very time-consuming. Music allows me a refreshing opportunity to experience Christ in a new way and rejuvenate my faith.

AG: What unique opportunities does athletic celebrity afford your music career?

Utecht: I’ve been able to take my faith-based music into schools and talk about issues of character. I’m able to talk about issues that include the fruits of the Spirit without necessarily pushing Jesus on anybody. Music has given me a unique avenue to bridge some of the barriers that we face with separation of church and state, and doors will open for me that might not for other Christian artists because of the NFL.

AG: Have you received any opposition from students or administrators?

Utecht: No. That’s the crazy thing. I always do a little quirky thing about having this secret dream to try out for American Idol. Everyone starts laughing and usually someone says, “Prove it!” I say, “OK. I want y’all to be my judges.” I say, “I grew up singing in the church, so my audition is always ‘Amazing Grace’.” People don’t expect a football player to sing. The kids and teachers love it.

AG: Students can be tough, but the locker room must be even tougher. Do you get a lot of grief from players for your musical aspirations?

Utecht: The cool thing is the guys understand my heart and realize this isn’t just a gimmick. I get respect. It’s been exciting to see how my teammates have jumped on board. I’ve got guys going on iTunes and checking out my website. It’s a unique way for me to witness to these guys; I’ve been thrilled about that.

AG: Any closet musicians on the team trying to audition for a spot on the road?

Utecht: [Laughs] You’d be surprised at how many hidden talents are on each team. One of my teammates, Rico Murray, plays drums, bass and lead guitar. He grew up playing in his dad’s worship band. These kinds of guys are on every team.

AG: How does proclaiming Christ differ on the field versus the stage?

Utecht: When I get on stage, people are coming to a Christian concert. They understand what they are getting. On the field, everybody comes from different places, different faiths and different backgrounds, so there’s more strategy to it. To be a Christian in the NFL, you are put under a magnifying glass where people are waiting, if not wanting, to see you fail. I need to make sure I’m doing the best that I can to practice what I preach.

AG: What are some specific ways you do that?

Utecht: Being a part of our team Bible studies. Inviting guys to come and hear me sing. Just loving on my teammates—going around the locker room and listening to guys, to get to know them. That’s been a major way to reveal my faith to my teammates. Leading by example is something I learned from Tony Dungy [former Colts coach]. He walked consistently with Christ.

AG: Dungy has said that you’re “a talented football player. However, I always thought his real impact would be in Christian music.”

Utecht: I was speechless when I read that. Tony’s all about the Kingdom. He means the world to me and he’s been a major mentor both on and off the field. It’s given me a lot of confidence to continue walking in music.

AG: I hear Dungy is the entire reason you ended up playing for the Colts.

Utecht: It’s one of my miracle stories. Two months before the 2004 draft, I was doing an event with Dungy. We both went to the same college. I said, “You know Tony, University of Minnesota alum take care of each other. Once the draft rolls around I expect you to pick me up.” Everybody kinda got a kick out of it.

He joked back, “Unfortunately, we drafted a tight end first round last year.” But then he said, “I promise you this. If for some reason you slip through the cracks, I’ll be the first one to call you.” I let that go in one ear and out the other. Then I had a pretty severe sports injury, and didn’t get drafted. But Tony called me, and the Colts offered me surgery and the first year off just to rehab. And they would pay me like a starting rookie. It was an amazing gift.

AG: Sounds like a bit of divine confirmation for your calling as a player.

Utecht: At one point I didn’t even know if I was going to play again. It was one of the hardest experiences I’ve had to go through. I told the Lord, “I’m going to trust you with everything.” Three years later I’m a starting tight end in the Super Bowl.

AG: Does it seem a bit serendipitous then that long-time Hoosier and Colts fan, Sandi Patty, would discover and sign you to her label because of team ties?

Utecht: [Laughs] I laugh every time because it’s so amazing how these doors open. After I spoke in Anderson, Indiana, Sandi approached me for an autograph. I about fell on my face. I handed her back the paper and said, “Actually, you need to sign this for me.” She took my wife and me in, and became a home away from home.

AG: I’ve noticed other artists have come out of the woodwork to support your music since Sandi.

Utecht: Bill Gaither has taken me under his wing and mentored me. Jeremy Camp and I met after a concert and really hit it off. It was like two, long lost brothers. We have very similar testimonies. He’s become my best friend in the world. We also co-wrote a song together on the album.

I feel incredibly blessed by these relationships. And none of them would have happened would it not have been for playing for the Colts. Isn’t that crazy?

AG: Prepping for a game. Prepping for a concert. Any pre-game similarities?

Utecht: [Laughs] You know what? It’s really similar. People have gotten a kick out of seeing me before a concert because I’m literally backstage jumping up and down. It almost feels like I’m getting ready to go out and hit somebody. People get really scared when I try to chest bump them!

One thing that’s different is that 99.9 percent of the time I’m not going to break a rib singing.

AG: I have to admit, before listening to your record, I wasn’t expecting much. Do you have to fight the jock stereotype just to be heard?

Utecht: [Laughs] Yes. When Mike [manager Mike Atkins] first brought me to Nashville, he said, “Listen, it might be Christian music, but we still have our Simon Cowells. They’re not going to expect something from an athlete because they’ve seen it all before.” When we sat down with Word to get this thing going, they told me flat out, “We were suspect about this. But we gotta tell you, we did not expect to hear that.”

I always love the reactions. Because people don’t expect it, it’s a pleasant surprise and gives me an opportunity to connect with people’s hearts.

Christianity Today, July 2009
BenUtecht.com

Fully Alive
It’s easy to take life for granted. Not until some fatal event shocks our complacent day-to-day routines, reviving our awareness of life’s beginning and end, do we take advantage of the precious opportunities life offers. For Lacey Mosley, lead singer and principal lyricist for Flyleaf, this distinction between life and death is personally poignant. “I was 16 when I got saved. Before that, I was an atheist and I wanted to commit suicide,” she remembers, death’s stark reality knocking on her door. “The Lord intervened in a miraculous way to keep me from killing myself. The next day, I remember waking up saying, ‘You gave me life, and care so much that you would keep me from dying. What do you want from me?’”

Though she received no writing on the wall, in hindsight the answer is crystal clear. He wanted her to play music.

As the feminine face of Flyleaf, the wildly popular five piece who exploded overnight with the release of their monstrous 2005 Gold-selling single, “All Around Me,” Mosley led the alternative outfit through an all-out rock star ride that included Platinum certification of the band’s debut album, a string of high-profile media appearances and sold-out concert dates nationwide. But for the introspective rocker, music is more than an avenue to fame and fortune. “Music is part of our lives,” she ponders, “but everything in our lives has to do with our faith. There’s nothing outside of that.”

For Flyleaf, music is merely a medium for the message. And on the band’s electrifying new record, Memento Mori (A&M/Octone), the memo is painstakingly clear. “‘Memento Mori’ means, ‘Remember your death,’” Mosley explains. But rather than some morbid epitaph, the Latin phrase reminds us we are alive. “Remember you’re mortal and you can live life to the fullest,” she concludes.

“I was talking to somebody the other day, and they said, ‘Rock music is always considered evangelical ministry if it is [created by] a Christian in a band.’ Then they said, ‘But I believe it is more pastoral, because it’s examining life and telling how to walk out faith, and how to sort through things in your heart.’” Mosley couldn’t agree more.

What began as an open letter from the singer to her teenage sister broadened with each member’s creative contribution, and was refined by the band’s collective experience onstage in front of thousands of teens every night. “Our audience is filled with girls who are my sister’s age and going through the same things she’s going through. A lot of times I’ll write a song and think to myself, How is my sister going to interpret what I’m singing here? Is it going to be a good message for her? The songs that ended up on the record, feel like a message directly for her.”

Applying the “what-would-my-teenage-sister-think” litmus test to each song before putting it on tape, Flyleaf’s lyrics are key to mainstreaming their God-prizes-people dogma to a generation of identity-riddled young people, especially young women. In “Set Apart this Dream,” a track from the new record, Mosley sings: “You’re lovely and beautiful and priceless/So much more than you know,” a truth “important to sing over a young girl, that she can have the fullness of life she was intended to have when God made her.”

“Girls feel a loneliness that is really destroying their ability to believe in how much they’re worth. When you sit down and hear the heart of a girl that cuts herself and gets abused by her boyfriend, it’s such a heartbreaking thing,” Mosley soberly states. “I’ve never seen more people confused with what to do with their sexuality. Just watch TV; look at billboards. Culture has no mention of the worth of a woman.”

The new record’s title harnessed a particularly affective meaning for the band during a recent invitation to perform for US troops stationed at the remote Forward Operating Base (FOB) Baylough in Afghanistan, near the Pakistan border – an area formerly isolated from visiting guests. “We get on this plane and they say, ‘If we get shot at, here’s your parachute,” Mosley remembers. “‘If that fails, pray to whomever you believe in.’ I was like, Wow.”

Howard Benson (My Chemical Romance, The All-American Rejects) who produced Flyleaf’s debut and Memento Mori, remembers the band’s experiences in Afghanistan having a huge impact on the recording process. A self-professed Jew, Benson admits, though their beliefs may differ, “What [Flyleaf believes], they believe so much. It’s so real to them. Everything means so much to them. There’s no wasted space on the record. A lot of pop records I work on don’t have that scrutiny.”

Mosley says the trip’s timing was serendipitous. “It’s amazing that in the middle of recording and defining how [the message of Memento Mori] was going to be presented in our CD, in our music, in our art, we go to Afghanistan and [were] embedded in its message.”

To further engrain the urgent motto in the band’s collective conscience, two days after they returned home, four of the FOB men were killed. “My first reaction was, Did I do everything I could do? Did I say what I was supposed to say?” Mosley remembers.

But her questions were answered via an email from a medic they had met while overseas. “[He] was a youth pastor and had walked away from serving the Lord,” she relates. “He emailed to say he had rededicated his life to the Lord.” Failing to save a soldier’s life as one of the first medical professionals to arrive at the tragic scene, he further confessed, “‘Even though there was nothing I could do for him, I know he’s with the Lord now.’”

The band’s life-changing excursion and following events were “a sobering experience,” Mosley said, “and seared the message we want to give to kids on this record on my heart.”

CCM Magazine, October 2009
FlyleafMusic.com

Sounds like … the smooth R&B of Ledisi with the vocal pop soul of Whitney Houston and straight up gospel messages of Mary, Mary or J. Moss

At a glance … the legendary duo’s reunion is a stellar comeback CD

When BeBe and CeCe Winans sing “It’s been a long time since we’ve been together” in the opening line of their new album, Still, the statement is no revelation. After releasing the Gold-selling Relationships in 1994, the dynamite duo made a temporary split—or so they thought—to fulfill their record label obligations to record solo projects. But after achieving monumental successes with CeCe’s Alone in His Presence and BeBe’s self-titled debut, the cycles of promotion and demand set the siblings’ individual careers in perpetual motion.

And the era of CCM/R&B/BeBe/CeCe that had been filling radio airwaves for nearly a decade came to a halt. And the void was great.

But good things come to those who wait. Reconvening for their first full-record pairing in 15 years, the platinum pair picks up right where they left off, issuing 12 genre-defying cuts in perfect brother/sister harmony.

Rather than re-entering the market with a bold statement of change, Still uses the group’s old-school recording model, lining up a host of producers under the oversight of BeBe’s musical point, to create classic BeBe & CeCe. Which is a good thing. An unknowing listener could hear the record’s first single and never know the duo had been on hiatus.

The title track demonstrates the siblings’ seamless answer/response mechanism to list their biggest hits in a clever musical re-introduction. “Close to You” is already making large crossover strides, having charted No 1 in the R&B market.

“Grace,” produced by the group’s old hitmaker, Keith Thomas (Amy Grant, Vanessa Williams), is an album highlight, applying a haunting octave piano motif to begin an epic six-minute journey that climaxes with CeCe’s beautiful soprano echoing BeBe’s convicted growl: “I can’t live without your grace / Where would I be without your grace? / I love you“—words made most poignant by BeBe’s recent troubles.

Keeping it all in the family, nephew Mario Winans produced “Let It Be,” a united-we-stand mantra-chorus featuring the gospel-heavy voices of Mary Mary, while “Things” showcases brother Marvin Winans’ husky soul and “Change My World” was penned by CeCe’s oldest son, Alvin Love III.

The calypso-like backbeat and kitschy rhymes of “He Can Handle It” are a bit cheesy, and the fast-paced drum programs of “Reason to Dance” really, really remind me of their twenty-year old hit, “Celebrate New Life,” but BeBe & CeCe albums have never conformed to peer pressure. In fact, their goody bag of rhythm and soul is probably what makes them so appealing to such a broad base of listeners.

Still may not reach new heights, but its timelessness features everything we love about these legends. Christian music fans have waited long for this comeback, and Still should satisfy their craving.

Christianity Today, October 2009
Myspace.com/BeBeandCeCeWinans

Leaving the Gay Life Behind
When Christian music veteran Ray Boltz released a statement saying he was gay last fall, the announcement sent tidal waves of disbelief through the CCM world, shocking longtime listeners with his assertion, “If this is the way God made me, then this is the way I’m going to live.” The news prompted hundreds of related articles, messageboard threads and forum discussions on the topic of homosexuality and the church.

Gospel/worship artist B. David, whose own history of homosexuality and spiritual downward spiral hit rock bottom in 1997—which he calls “the worst year of my life”—shares in Boltz’ candidness, but not his convictions. “Some say, ‘I was born this way,’ and I don’t deny that at all. We are all born into sin,” he explains. “But we have a Savior. There would be no reason for Jesus Christ if we were all OK.”

Presenting an alternative perspective of change through his own testimony of grace, the now-married father of three suggests, “The only way to break through this stuff is for people to expose themselves openly in front of congregations and in their spheres of influence.”

Realizing his own “sphere of influence” would greatly expand this year with the launch of his national recording debut, Life Journal, B. David remembers thinking, I’m starting to tell my testimony. People are really going to know who I am and what I am dealing with, alluding to the 6,000-plus congregants at Destiny Metropolitan Worship Church in Atlanta, where B. David serves as head worship leader. “But I have to be willing to [share my testimony] because my heart is for people to be free. My heart is for people to get more of God.”

And where better to start sharing his story from than the very beginning.

Abusive childhood

B. David’s home life became acutely dysfunctional after his mother and father divorced when he was just a toddler, and his father’s remarriage spawned a physically and emotionally abusive relationship between B. David and his stepmother. “[The abuse] wouldn’t happen all the time, but when it did, it was horrible,” he tells Christian Music Today.

Unfortunately the abuse didn’t stop there. Since both his dad and stepmother worked, and his older sister was involved in extracurricular activities after school, B. David’s parents had arranged for him to be dropped off at his cousin’s house every day after school, where his cousin routinely groped him and coerced him into oral sex.

“I don’t remember a time when something didn’t happen between me and my cousin,” B. David recalled, eliciting the harrowing scenes of sexual abuse that lasted for three years. “I remember thinking, Should I tell somebody? But I was afraid of what my parents might do to me, and I was also afraid of my cousin. I would say to myself, When I’m 15, I’m gonna run away. When I’m 14, I’m gonna’ run away. When I’m 13 … I was plotting, [but] after awhile, I just got used to it.”

Eventually, B. David got away from that situation and moved in with his mother. But with strings of boyfriends and an impending third marriage, his mother was just as unhealthy. Rather than devise another plan to run away, B. David discovered an alternative outlet for escape via his stepfather’s stash of pornographic tapes, exposing the impressionable teen to the powerful vices of lust.

The gay feelings begin

Before long, B. David began experimenting sexually with other men. “I don’t recall when gay feelings started. I just know they were enhanced through the sexual abuse,” he says. “When you’re a child, those things are really traumatic. I didn’t understand the weight of it all. In a sense, I felt like maybe this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Attempting to hush high school rumors that he was gay, B. David began dating a girl, who later invited him to church. “I listened to what the preacher was saying, and for some reason, things started to make sense. I thought, Maybe I need God. Maybe that’s what’s missing in my life.”

B. David had gone to church as a boy. In fact, his parents, who attended religiously, were often awarded for how many people they led to the Lord. But with their hypocritical behavior and shaky home life, B. David kept faith at an arm’s distance. “I had a relationship with church, but I didn’t have a relationship with Christ. I didn’t internally think, There’s a God up there. I was thinking, I want to get out of this place. It wasn’t until later that [the Scriptures] woke up inside of me.”

Ironically, it was a televised altar call given by Jimmy Swaggart, the televangelist who has been involved in a sex scandal, that prompted B. David to respond to the teachings he had been hearing in church by praying to receive Christ.

“I felt dramatically different,” he says. “I felt like something had broken and changed in my life.”

B. David doesn’t remember hearing that homosexuality was wrong from the pulpit. He just knew his heart was discerning that opinion. “I believe it was the Holy Spirit,” he says, thinking back to those first years as a Christian.

Behavioral change

And though B. David admits his attraction to the same sex did not change, his behavior did. “From the time I [accepted Christ] until I was about nineteen, I had a God-consciousness. I lived my life studying God’s Word and at church most of the time,” he remembers. “I knew [sex with men] was wrong. So I stood apart from it as much as I could.”

For the first two years of college, his spiritual awakening continued, his mind and schedule occupied with a plethora of ministry-oriented projects. But his internal conflict didn’t die, and during his junior year of college, B. David resumed having gay sex while employed as a worship leader at a local church. “I remember being with a person the night before, then coming to church and seeing people really being blessed, God really moving, and me feeling horrible.”

Unable to continue in dualism, B. David confessed his indiscretions to a close friend who encouraged him to talk openly about his struggles with his pastor. “I was like, No, no, no. I cannot do that.” But he did. And with the holiday season looming and his church workload increasing, his pastor offered the emotionally exhausted worship leader some much-needed time off.

“I was like, God I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want this in my life. So I fasted for forty days. I was crying out to God, What’s the deal? I was desperate. At the end of the forty days, my feelings hadn’t changed.”

He was disappointed. And hungry. Weighing a frail 125 pounds, he made his way down to the dorm kitchen. And that’s when he noticed a change.

“I saw this girl and she was so attractive to me,” he says. “I was like, Wow, what is this feeling? I had never been attracted to women at all. At that moment I knew something had altered and changed in my life—an attraction to women was developed somehow.”

‘She’s the one for me’

Returning to his dorm room to ponder his dramatic shift in desires, he thought of his best friend Debbie, and almost immediately he knew, “She’s the one for me. It was the weirdest thing. I attribute it to God, because it just didn’t make sense.”

Making the trip to Atlanta to surprise her with the good news, Debbie didn’t reciprocate in kind. “She didn’t talk to me for eight months,” B. David recalls. But “I fell in love with her. I kept believing, God, she’s definitely the one for me!”

B. David and Debbie were married in 2000.

“She knew everything I had gone through and was still willing to marry me,” he says. “I’m not going to say [feelings for men] just disappeared out of my life, because they haven’t. But she believes in me.”

B. David understands how unpopular his story may be in a society that more and more believes that any sexual preference is okay. But he also realizes the way we feel often deters us from recognizing what is foundationally true.

“We can’t say, ‘God wanted me to be this way,’ because that’s not necessarily true,” he says. “We can’t blame it on him. When people come from the mindset, ‘There’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing, and God loves me,’ I know what they’re trying to say. But sin is sin. Trust your relationship with the Holy Spirit. Are you in the Word? Are you really spending time with God? There are limits God has placed for us to abide by.”

Having heard the stories of other committed Christians with similar conflicts, B. David realizes he does not struggle alone. He believes he has a responsibility to encourage others through his own process of faith and healing, a process he admits will not be completed in this lifetime.

“I think the world is saying, ‘You cannot change who you are.’ But God is the one who changes hearts. If I’m 80 years old and these feelings never go away, so be it. I have nothing to do with that. I just choose to believe God knows what he is talking about and he knows what he is doing.”

Christianity Today, September 2009
BDavidMusic.com

Style: Urban praise and worship; compare to John P. Kee, Donnie McClurkin, and Israel & New Breed

Top tracks: “Awesome God,” “Take My Hand,” “I Know What He’s Done”

In a nutshell: Beginning his gospel music career as bassist for The Winans and furthering his enduring his journey as a founding member of Commissioned, Fred Hammond needs little introduction. But even the music legend’s prestigious history is eclipsed by his solo career, verified by mantles of Grammy, Stellar and Dove Awards, walls of Gold and Platinum records and collaborations with secular titans like Diddy. His seventh solo CD continues to buff his gospel star. Embedding his “Warehouse Worship” blueprint into the recording process for Love Unstoppabld results in a hearty live urban worship sound that is worthy of his entire golden back catalog.

Christianity Today, September 2009
FHammondFamilyEnt.com

Born Again
Avalon has been through the wringer over the past couple of years. After watching album sales and concert crowds shrink, releasing a handful of specialty records to mixed reviews and suffering the resignation of longtime member Jody McBrayer, the vocal outfit’s future looked a bit grim.

But taking into account millions of records sold, and even more millions of lives reached, the legendary group decided not to call it quits. Instead, treating their famously tight pop chops to an aggressive, full-throttle facelift, the foursome is renewing their vows, casting a new musical vision for their message on their tenth studio recording, aptly titled Reborn (E1).

In an exclusive interview with Christian Music Planet, married members Greg and Janna Long speak out about the group’s refining process and how change has brought them even close together.

AG: Historically, Avalon records have toyed with all sorts of genres—R&B, gospel, pop—you name it. Reborn, however, is very focused and aggressive musically. Was that intentional?

Janna Long: We knew going into this our sound needed to evolve. What messages were speaking to us? What sounds were we being drawn to? There was definitely a concentrated effort to put those things in motion and come up with something that is relevant and still true to what we do. Trying to stay current and not lose who you are is always a challenge for an artist. Even amidst some big changes, we’re still making music, we’re still alive and well, and we don’t think this chapter of our life is over yet.

AG: With so many member changes, did you ever consider hanging up the towel?

Greg: We considered shutting it down when Jody left. People come, people go, and a ministry that has been, and continues to be Avalon, just keeps going on. My picture may be on the cover of an album or two but it’s not about me. It’s about what these songs bring to people and the message inside of those songs.

Janna: It was really difficult for me when Jody left. I thought, You’re kidding, God. Not one more change. For 13 years of my life, every time I stepped onstage he was there. Many times we’ve said, “This is so much bigger than us, God. You have a plan, maybe an unconventional plan, but a plan nonetheless.”

I’ve definitely had feelings in my life when I knew God was ending one season and beginning another. He’s continued to make a way for [Avalon]. And as long as He does, I’ll be open to keep going.

AG: What specific messages are you guys wanting to convey on this record?

Greg: This record is honest, but it also lifts us up. In an attempt to become honest, we often become negative. [Reborn] doesn’t dwell on how messed up we are. It says, “God is going to help us. We are going to make it.” If we don’t have hope, then what are we as Christians all about? We know we can become dark. But my goal is to lift up Christ and what He’s done in my life.

AG: Avalon’s legacy of keeping Christ central continues with this record. But you guys possess some killer vocals. With so much raw talent, do you ever consider tempering the message a bit in hopes of reaching even larger audiences?

Janna: Since the beginning, I felt like if God gave me a platform, I wanted to use it to edify the body of Christ and bring those to know Him that didn’t. I never really thought, Let’s do the Christian thing and then see if we can cross over. It just wasn’t on my agenda. Even with former members, that wasn’t something we wanted to pursue.

AG: After 15 years in the music business, how have your priorities changed?

Janna: In the early stages, we would get calls: “Can Avalon come to New Zealand for two weeks? On the way back, you guys take an extra week and vacation in Hawaii.” It was like, “What is there to pray about?”

Now, my responsibilities as a mom and a wife take precedence over everything else. After Lillian was born, I remember thinking, This is something to really be proud of, to have a child and raise her. I still very much want to continue my music ministry, but it definitely doesn’t hold the same weight as it did 15 years ago.

Greg: My wife and children have become a huge priority. The ministry of Avalon has helped, instead of hurt, me in that. I didn’t wake up from a dream that said, “Join Avalon. Leave your solo ministry behind.” There was no handwriting on the wall. But six months after I joined, we became pregnant with Lillian, our first. I look back now and say, “Thank God that’s what we chose to do.” I spend more time with our two girls than most dads. And with the group being two couples—Jeremi and Amy have two girls, we have two girls—it’s definitely a family affair.

AG: Lots of pink!

Greg: No doubt. [Laughs]

AG: With your third child due in February, does that throw any kinks into Avalon?

Greg: I think there are 12 bunks on the bus, so let’s keep these babies coming! [Laughs]

Janna: We have to be more selective with when we’re gone and for how long. Lillian started kindergarten, so it’s a bit harder now for her to come along. But God has provided an amazing bus and the kids are able to go with us 90% of the time. There’s lots of room and lots of Lysol. [Laughs] We just keep on truckin’!

AG: So after all these years and transitions, what is Avalon all about?

Janna: Being an artist that wants to share faith boldly. A lot of the people we sing to every weekend are like us. Greg and I have two kids, one on the way, a mortgage and challenges in our marriage and families. When we meet people after shows, based on the glossy images, [they may think we're] unscathed by the things life throws at you. That’s not reality. We let [listeners] know these are things we’ve walked through and how God has brought us out of them, and He can do the same for you.

I hope we’ve always been about bringing real life experiences to people, and how our faith has sustained us, but we’re even more so now with a bit of life experience under our belts.

ChristianMusicPlanet.com, September 2009
AvalonLive.com

Road Confessional
Tearing up Christian music with enterprising rock records and an explosive stage show, Pillar has entranced fans for years with full-force, red-blooded rock. But the aggressive collective has more than rabid guitars and zealous screams up their sleeves. Intensifying its Grammy-nominated discography with super melodic hooks and symphonic backdrops, the rock-hard quartet probed the depths of their artistry while prompting fans to get right with God. The result? Their sixth studio release, Confessions.

In keeping with 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins…” the boys hit the road this fall with a confessional booth in tow, pounding hardcore hope into the lives of fans nationwide. And though Pillar plays hardball on stage each night, frontman Rob Beckley admits a typical day on tour consists of “sitting around 23 hours so you can play one.”

But show time or naptime, inquiring minds still want to know exactly what our favorite rockers do during a “day in the life.”

On the Road with Pillar

10 a.m.—12 p.m. The ole Pillar Greyhound bus delivers the crew and band to that day’s concert venue. Crew loads in and sets up. Beckley admits, “I stand by and watch or stay in bed.”

1 p.m.—3:30 p.m. Sound check. Pillar dials in first, then schools the opening acts in the world of live sound. “In and out,” is the phrase for the day, says Beckley. “Stay focused on what needs to happen. Get in and get out.” Got it, coach!

1 p.m.—5 p.m. Interviews and recess. While bands finish tuning it up onstage and bandmates perform a gun show at their local gym, Beckley shares the Pillar vision via phone interviews and an occasional face-to-face. Then it’s off to find a quiet nook “where I can actually sit down and focus on writing songs,” i.e., cook up a fresh batch of Pillar rock goodness.

Describing himself as a “venue rat,” Beckley would prefer “to hang out, get to know people,” and scope out the evening’s musical residence rather than pump some iron. But if the venue’s a ghost town? “I’ll grab my golf clubs and play a few holes.”

5 p.m.—7 p.m. Dinner’s ready! “The band is always first to eat because our crew is always working. [Laughs] I guess we’re divas,” Beckley says. So how is the food on tour? “Some nights are better than others. We’ll just leave it at that.”

6 p.m. Doors are thrown open as crazed Pillar die-hards rush the stage to secure the best “seat” in the house.

6:15 p.m. Beckley and crew gather for a little pre-show schmooze with fans and industry personnel, otherwise known as a meet and greet.

7 p.m. Arguably one of the most important blocks of time on the schedule is Beckley’s fireside chat with youth leaders. “I talk about what to expect for the evening and what they can hopefully take away from it.”

Purposefully titling the new record Confessions, Beckley is passionate about hearing the kids’ burdens. “We want to hear what is going on. We’re opening up the floodgates. We get all these confession cards from kids every night and it’s like, ‘Wow, there’s a lot of stuff going on.’ It makes me feel like what I do is even more worthwhile.”

7:30 p.m. Showtime. Beckley emcees the evening, thanking the crowd for coming out and explaining the themes behind that night’s tour date. On the Confessions tour, he wants concertgoers to better understand “how to confess the burden of sin to help start the healing process.” And he encourages going one step further by learning “how to be confessed to. The Church has failed a generation miserably by not letting people freely share their burden and their sin. We should be able to bring our burdens to the Church and sternly, yet lovingly and gracefully, walk through a healing process, guided with accountability.”

Finally, Beckley introduces the first band to get the party started. “If my family is out with me, my son likes to watch the shows. If not, I’ll go back to the bus and the band will hang out. That’s our alone time, where we can zoom in a little further on what we need to do.”

9 p.m.—10:30 p.m. Pillar rocks the house!

10:30 p.m.—12 a.m. Autographs/hang time with fans. “Every night someone comes up and tells us how the music has changed their life, how the music saved their marriage or how that one song, they just happened to hear it at that perfect moment. It’s crazy, hearing stories from people. That stuff motivates me.”

12:30 a.m. On the road again/lights out. Beckley’s first piece of advice for maintaining a hyped-up stage presence is “plenty of rest. Don’t stay up all night playing Halo.” Got it, Mom…I mean, Rob.

CCM Magazine, September 2009
PillarMusic.com

Expanding The Church’s Musical Horizon
The title of David Crowder*Band’s fifth studio recording is not some tongue-in-cheek assertion by one of Christian music’s least traditional artists about the Church’s oft-traditional musical output. Rather, it’s an honoring of the body of Christ’s infinite musical possibilities by an incredibly diverse musical collective. Considered a “worship band” because of Crowder’s longtime involvement with the Waco, Texas University Baptist Church and Louie Giglio’s exclusive Passion roster, the band seeks to musically realize the notion that God inhabits the praises of His people. So for Christians living within the context of His Spirit, Church music is, in fact, everywhere.

A modern psalmist of sorts, the smart frontman once again poetically challenges worship music’s acoustic roots by infusing current cultural influences—this time a fusion of dance, pop, electronic and rock music. The title track, a Studio 54-esque number, tempts the redeemed of the Lord to get up and dance! Retro wah pedaling and disco synth hits allure saints and sinners alike to occupy the dance floor in full-body praise.

The chorus of “Eastern Hymn” draws international inspiration from the band’s world travels, using portions of a translated Chinese prayer book text in the chorus. And though Crowder’s cover of Flyleaf’s “All Around Me” may seem unusual, its selection is not surprising since lead singer Lacey Mosely can be heard contributing throughout.

The album’s first single and most corporately geared track, “How He Loves,” matches layers of heavy electric guitars and octave-chiming keys with a sweeping image of God’s love, giving the chorus an effective crescendo: “We are His portion and He is our prize/Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes/If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.“

Steeped in doctrines of redeeming grace, Church Music is simply an extension of David Crowder*Band’s already anomalous hymnal.

CCM Magazine, September 2009
DavidCrowderBand.com